^^Yeah I agree that we all have weak moments. I just feel that for somebody to be a virgin in college, when I'm 98% sure that they've been tried or tested all throughout high school..then to just give it up outta nowhere, is kinda suspect to me. I'm sure that most virgins have moments where they want to lose their virginity...but for those who make it past HS, I'm sure that they had to be stronger than most just to get through that, and for them to let it happen so easy in college is confusing to me.
I donno....every female has a different mindset. The stronger ones realize that if a dude just wants sex, he'll say ANYTHING to get it, and they know that he could easily walk away forever after he gets it...so they don't even consider givin him, or anybody else a chance, until they are ready. The ones worried about "lonely college virgins" who end up givin it up just for attention are.....sad to say....but weak as hell...and they end up bein depressed and having that "eff ALL men" attitude after gettin played for their goods.
Why is it that people can say they prefer tall, skinny, short, thick, etc. with no problem. But as soon as someone says they prefer light skin, people jump out of their skin.
A preference is a preference
I agree partially with what you said. Skin color is more personal in the fact that black people have been treated terrible because of the color of their skin. Tall and skinny people were not beat up, killed, and hung like people of color. A preference is a preference, but it's all in the way you say things. I prefer to date dark men, because I think that they are gorgeous, but I have only dated one, the rest I have dated are yellow. I like tall guys, but I have dated short ones. I love vanilla ice cream, but I do eat chocalate. But to say you won't date someone because of the color of their skin is ignorant and stupid.
Yeah it's all to do with history, and the fact that most of us are brainwashed in liking one complexion over another. It's obvious that it has to do with conditioning, because I have not met many dudes in the south who'd say that they only date light skinned girls...but in California, I've heard a LOT of idiots say that they only like em light skinned, long hair, etc. etc. Colorism has been around forever, and most older people feel that for someone to dislike darker complexions shows how ignorant they are, and that it shows that they don't like where they came from.
I could really care less...but I do seem to love chocolate and brown skinned females. I'll never be on some "she's cute for a light/dark skinned girl" because it doesn't matter.
At the same time....I realize that I have only talked to brown skinned and dark skinned girls for most of my life, because it's only been a few light skinned girls who were attracted to me. When I was 20, this 18 year old turned me down for my 15 year old homeboy because "she didn't care much for dark skinned guys" and my homeboy was hella yella.
Yeah....I can't even lie...not only did I lose my virginity late in the game, but I only regretted not losin it earlier. I do think female virgins are nearly extinct, and of all the girls I know in college, I might only know about ten who I am sure are virgins. I do NOT go for the born again BS either.
And it's BS that so many "men have kids" because it's not like they are havin them with each other...it takes two to tango...so it's just as many women who have kids, u know?? In college, I would probably estimate that 4-6% of all the black men have kids...and it might be a lil lower or higher, but definitely nothing more than like 9-10%. It's just not THAAAAT common u know?
LOL.....some girls are better than others. With some girls...if she lets you hit too soon, but she tells you "I was just feelin u" or some BS, you CANNOT believe it, even though your ego wants you to. My homeboy had that situation...he hit the second day he knew the girl, but when people were tellin him "man...she gets DOOOOWN" he was like "no she doesn't at all....those are all just rumors" as if he is the only diamond laced penis she happened to ever take it there with that soon.
From what I've seen...most loose females just have something about them that shows inconsistency, baggage, low self esteem, freakiness, or just some sort of slyness. I have seen MANY who are converted, and they won't even let me (or you...well I hope she didn't) tickle em or kiss on their neck, because they know they don't need to be gettin down like that...and many of them are on that "I am not havin sex til marriage" or "til relationship" tip just because they've burnt themselves out sexually, at too young of an age.
Fam I think you and ol gurl need to sit down and have a talk. There is no reason why she should be that stupid or gullible. If she is trying to be with you then tell her to stop or get on.
I'm done with her now, it's no way I could wife her up. But she is definitely seven years behind mentally when it comes to social situations, and she is VEEEEEEEEEERY insecure and has hella low self esteem....so with most girls, I'd be mad and be like "eff that stupid azz biioootch, she's shady as hell" but she's too dumb and gullible to know she's shady...and I just feel bad for her. She has way too many issues for me to ever wife her up, so I'm happy that these things happened now instead of later on.
But that's probably why many of us could never get with a "former freak" or "hoe from the past" because we feel that all it'll take is another random dude to come game em up and make em feel good for a few minutes, and they'll let them hit too. Most females who were loose at an extreme level have major mental issues, and are damaged from the jump.
The people who said what they want hit the nail on the head. The ideal mate to YOU is THE mate YOU want. What's good to you, may not be good to the next person.
Now, I am sick of hearing there are no good men out there or there are no good women out there. THE BOTTOM LINE IS: we have our preferences. When you keep running into the wrong person, that's when you need to re-evaluate your standards. Most of us have a modicum of intelligence (common sense, street smarts, etc.) to discern when our category of likely candidates needs to be revised. Basing wants on an unrealistic person (the perfect man or woman) will do nothing but disappoint you. Basing our wants on the (unrealistic"thugs and whores" of the world will get you burnt (both figuratively and literally). Being taken by someone who you thought was on point is another topic.
In today's fast-food society, everything comes so quickly. Take your time to get to know a person. Do what we used to do back in the day: courting. Be a friend before you become lovers. If we took the time to know someone, we'd know if they are no good for us. Eventually, that person's real character will come out. If we choose to stay or cultivate a relationship with that person anyway, there is no one to blame but ourselves.
My last thought is if you continue to choose the "wrong" (but oh so "sexciting" LOL) or allow the relationship inept to hurt you, don't go blaming the entire gender (male or female) because you let yourself get played.
I definitely agree with that. Most people are too damn biased to realize that their bad experiences could very well be their own fault. Everyone gets hurt and played...but if you always insist that it was the other person's fault EVERY TIME, and you ignored all of the signs and acted as if you have been perfect, then that is a major issue.
Just ego issues alone....at this age of 22, I couldn't wife up a female who got down like that. I just finished talkin to a female who I know I should have never even thought about gettin at....and her past isn't really bad, but the way she is overall just makes it worst. With her, she almost had sex with one dude I know and I'm coo with but not close to....she kissed my homeboy I always kick it with right before we were really talkin...and she told me that while we were still talkin (or at least to me) she ****ed somebody else I know...and we almost ****'d a few weeks back. So it's like damn...even though those aren't really terrible things, it's just too close to home, and my ego wouldn't be able to deal with that...especially the fact that she is so stupid and gullible, on some "well I thought he liked me" and "he said the right things" type of ****.