My dad is now gone home to be with Jesus, but he played a very important role in shaping how I look at men in general -- what I expect of them, especially, as it concerns taking responsibility for their families and in my life in a serious relationship.
My dad, although I thought he was a pain when I was growing up, was an excellent provider and protector. Growing up, I can never ever ever remember going without anything I needed. And I also got most of the things I wanted. I was a good kid, so I wasn't spoiled. My dad just worked hard -- very hard -- and wanted to reward us for good behavior and for doing well in school.
My dad taught me a work ethic and discipline. I have values that I adhere to because my dad was such a good dad in all the things that really counted. I realized, once I got into my late 20's, what good parents I had.
I never heard my dad or mom raising their voices in argument with one another. My mom was the disciplinarian, so my dad never raised his hand to discipline me. Because of that, I never expect a man to raise his hand to me. (If he likes living he won't! ) Because my dad always worked, and kept busy with his hands doing industrious things, I would expect any man in my life to do the same.
My dad passed away of prostate cancer in 1994. He had only retired a couple of years before that, after making sure I had gotten settled after graduating college and moving out on my own. I feel so bad that he only got to retire for 2 years. And I miss him dearly.
Appreicate your dads if you have a good one -- and make sure he knows it. And pray for him if you don't have a good one.
HELL YEAH I CAN COOK!!! in my family its kinda mandatory for not only a girl but fore EVERYONE to know how to cook
Amen -- I think everybody ought to know how to cook "something." Brothers who are inept in the kitchen do no impress me.
Me? I can cook, but I don't like to. I don't do desserts, though -- don't like 'em and don't know how to make 'em. But my brain is fried and my body is tired when I come home from my job. I don't feel like standing up to cook, washing dishes, or any of that stuff.
Now, if I had a husband that could sit my tail down and be at home everyday, like my dad did for my mom, and we can still live a comfortable life with just him working, I'd learn how to cook any cuisine he wanted: French, Italian, Thai, Cajun, Mediterranean, Chinese, Mexican, Jewish, Martian -- I don't care --whatever.
I would encourage you to not worry about whether you'll fit in or not, and make your decision based on what you want to get out of the experience. What do you want the end result to be of your collegiate experience?
I went to a predominantly white university, and now sometimes wish I had gone to a HBCU -- simply because the culture would have been so much richer in some respects. But I never really "fit in" anywhere.
Stereotypes are rarely accurate, on any side of the coin. I might not have been black enough for the stereotypes, but I knew I wasn't white! So I never really "fit." But I'm so glad I'm "me."
I have heard (I don't know, because I'm from an older generation) that the generation you are in is really more accepting of "exceptions" to stereotypes. I mean when you have a rapper & a country singer making a record together... what can be said? Boundaries don't seem to be as prevalent these days as when I was in college.
I respect a man more who feels comfortable enough in his manhood to shed some tears over things that really matter.
If he's crying "over every little thing," then he probably needs to get a psychologist or medical doctor involved. Just like if a woman is crying "over every little thing." That's not normal and indicates an emotional problem or some kind of physiological (?) imbalance for what governs the emotions. Like there might be a depression problem goin' on, or somethin'...
But in general, if a dude can cry sometimes, it's alright with me.
I am so glad I found this site & forum. Some of you will be happy to know that a search for "black computer geeks" led to this site. Anyway, I'm not so much the geek as the wanna-be geek -- but I love playing on my computer, nevertheless.
I'm looking to network & socialize with friendly, purpose-driven, talented people who share my interests. I'm looking forward to meeting everyone!
P.S. I spell wazzup with z's because I once got a post blocked from another forum as wassup was said to contain banned language.